In A House Too Big to Fall, the Only Way is Out
In this hallway there is a door. In this house there are many hallways. The majority of those hallways lead to a door or simply a dead end, but only a few hallways lead to other places. This is a strange house. I hear there’s a master hallway, one which keeps going, leading to other, better places. Leading to rooms that many people have never seen but desire to experience in depths of sleep and subconscious. Our souls long for it - peace and tranquility. That is what I’m told the other parts of this house can bring to its visitors. You just need to follow the correct routes.
That master hallway and those hallways like it tend to be narrow, low ceilinged, and a challenge to navigate. They have -mites and -tites of the stalag-kind, obstacles, hidden doors and through ways and holes that lead you to the bigger and easier-to-navigate hallways, and there’s these stupid little goblins that run around and simply antagonize you. They try to force you to backtrack or find an escape route to one of those “easier” hallways. Sometimes they’ll guide you right to a room if you’re impatient and unwilling to ride it out.
At the end of lots of the less difficult hallways, there are these doors. Some of these doors are colored and some are not. The color of the door usually signifies what kind of experience lies beyond the door. It’s interesting though, because people in this house tend to have different feelings about what the colors mean and what experience truly lies beyond the door. The doors lead to a room. This room is usually occupied by one or more beings who like to keep you in there and not let you out. Mostly they’re lonely and fearful, and they desire company. Many of them though are malevolent. They want to keep you there until one of you dies, and they are angry and I have heard that some even full out torture the occupants in the rooms. They’re still lonely and sad and miserable, but you know what they say, “misery loves company”. There have been people though, who have gotten out of all those “dead end” rooms, but I hear that the longer you stay in them the harder it is to leave. These rooms are entranced by colorless doors. Yep! Not transparent or translucent or anything, but they are colorless. It’s hard to imagine I’m sure but these doors just don’t seem to reflect a color that we are familiar with.
Now here’s something interesting. Through these hallways and at the ends of these hallways there are people who aren’t searching for anything. Most are self-proclaimed - mostly for the attention but others for the feeling of being helpful. Those ones might be confused. There are guides, guards (some passive, others not so much), there are those who claim to be oracles or messengers of the rooms or even clairvoyants who can see through the doors. Some claim they have seen certain rooms and others claim that the rooms aren’t even there - just a way to distract you from the wonderfully immense and confusingly beautiful hallways. “It’s all about the hallways!” they cry. Confusion sets in for many. Trust for others.
I had someone tell me once that there was this one door at the end of this extremely wide and crowded hallway. The door was colorless, lest some who approach get a bad vibe. There were three people in the hallway who spoke to me directly, instead of shouting it out for the mass of walkers to hear and listen.
One told me in an almost silent whisper among the murmuring of the passers-by, “stay away from this door, the threshold, and the guard. The room is not the kind of room you want to go in. Even if you get out by some miracle, it attaches something to the soul. It is very difficult to remove without help.”
I approached the door to take a look at its detail. Unbelievable. Patterns unrecognized, a color unfamiliar, and some sort of pulsing on the other side that warranted less-than-cautionary curiosity.
The one at guard said, “I can tell you everything you need to know about that room. Contrary to popular belief it’s pretty safe, and most who go in don’t come out because they like it in there. Not because they’re forced to stay”
“Interesting”, I mouthed with little sound. “Why doesn’t that one want me even this close to the door?”
The guard replied, “Because that one doesn't understand. That one subscribes to an arcane school of thought regarding these hallways and “the one room” which everyone should be seeking. It’s not fair to everyone else if you ask me.”
Another overheard our little conversation and yanked me away. “Stop”, this one said. “Not a good idea to go in there on blind faith and the word of that heathen”. This one was referring to the guard. “That one works for those beyond that door, it’s a requirement to lead people in. Little piece of information, that one walked in there once. That one wasn’t standing guard and acting as a guide two years ago. Then one day last week that one was standing there and beckoning the passers-by and curious folk. That doesn't seem fishy to you?”
This one seemed strong. Not particularly physically strong, but one of spiritual wisdom and courage and fortitude. I trusted this person at the get-go for some reason. Something supernatural maybe. Perhaps it was what this one said. Now that I look back on this experience, I never would be in the hallway I’m at currently if it wasn't for that one.
“Alright. But what about the other one who warned me not to get close at all? That one kept turned around and didn’t even look at the door. I don’t know if it’s as serious as that one claims it to be.”
This one said “listen you’re best bet is to try to understand what you might be dealing with behind that door before you go in. To any of the doors in this house anyway. I know where I’m heading and the room I’m looking for, but I’m not going to stop you from exploring. Just learn about the doors and what supposedly is beyond them. I will say this though, if you have a room you plan on getting to, or if you plan on ever getting out of this house, make sure you remind yourself every day of that goal. Once the goal is gone, you’re left to wander. Like them. And you’ll either die in the wrong room, or you’ll die in a hallway. Both are unsatisfactory and both are regretful.”
“So what do I do?”, I asked. This one seemed to know something.
“Follow The Sound. It’s a hum that you can hear. It’s something that you can feel in the vibrations of existence. You can’t see it, there’s no map for it - although some have tried to draw out pathways, which I might add are not too far off. Off still, but not by horribly much. The Sound is just comforting. It’s something that makes the hallways, the doors, the crowds, seem insignificant unless you can get to the origin. It’s perfect silence sometimes. Perfect. Other times it’s blatantly obvious when you’re not where you should be and it screams at you through a blend of human emotion. Just listen. You’ll hear it when you trust it. Let the noise drop out, stop trying so hard, and let The Sound guide you out.”
“Out? There’s an out? I’ve never seen any windows or any evidence that there’s anything beyond this house, or its hallways, or its rooms. You’re telling me that the rooms aren’t where we’re supposed to be?” I was shocked this one even suggested an “out”. It doesn’t make sense. There are these walls and these halls and the rooms. And the rooms have walls and that’s what defines a room.. So I’m told. By who? Who told me that?
“I’ve been in some of these rooms. Looking for my peace, for my tranquility, for my nirvana. They’re all the same. Just a place to hang out or hang yourself. The real prize is outside. There’s things outside you and I have never experienced. And until we get out of this house, we never will. That’s where I’m heading. Out. That's where we’re called to be. If these fools would just stop and listen they’d realize. I try to tell whoever I can, some listen and some don’t.”
“So why tell anyone?”
“So we can experience Out together.”
Now I am in a narrower hallway, alone. It’s scary. I feel more alone than ever, and I don;t know how long this hallway goes. It’s hard to walk on the rocks and across the roots of the earth. There are pits and sharp edges. One must truly watch one’s step in a place like this. The walls shake sometimes, like a threat of swallowing me whole.There’s a faint glow at the end of the hallway sometimes. It always goes away though. I wish it didn;t but at least I know it’s there. I hear yelling. Directed at me. Telling me I’m failing myself and everyone else. It’s telling me I’ll die alone here and I’m not worth collecting my body when I do finally croak. I can hear this goblin a few feet to my left and it keeps asking me “why not turn around? There’s no one here to help you.”
The goblin is wrong. I have me. That is enough to keep going. I remember that one who said “once the goal is gone, you’re left to wander”. Plus there’s other footprints and remnants and evidence of others who came this way. What is that old adage? Something about the road less traveled? I can only imagine it’s a good thing. This seems like the hallway less traveled. And I’m drawn to it. I know in my heart and in my mind, that I am going the right way. I know because once in a while I can hear something that leads me further from the crowds and wide hallways to the narrower and less traveled. Something good calls me this way. I know it.
I’m not a wanderer anymore. I know what I want and where I’m going. It will bring me peace and tranquility. This house is a temporary home, it can’t last forever because I won’t last forever. It’s temporary.
And once I get to where I’m going I can finally rest. I can breathe. I can be at peace. Maybe I’ll see that one.
Alongside those who found Out.